Yes. A schmeargasbord!!!
Like a smorgasbord. But a schmeargasbord.
(Or “board.” I can’t decide on a spelling just yet.)
Anyway, here it is for your Yom Kippur break-fast consideration.
For a long time, I wanted to do some sort of a “schmear platter,” and also for a long time, I called it exactly that in my blog notebook. A schmear platter.
So, how did the schmear platter become the schmeargasboard, you ask?
[Narrator: Nobody asked.]
Well, it’s a very short story, actually: I just woke up in the middle of the night last week and thought, “Schmeargasbord.”
The end.
Of course, it didn’t change much about the general concept here. I mean, it’s still a platter with a bunch of cream cheese varieties on it. But once I’d slapped the name on it, it felt way more fun and hilarious and interesting.
So here’s how to put your own together:
Start by making your cream cheese flavors.
I recommend doing this a day or two before you’re going to be serving them so that this part is totally out of the way. The mix-in recipes you see in these photos are detailed below, but you can really let your imagination run wild and opt for whatever you please. “Pumpkin chai,” for instance, was on my shortlist. Sort of disappointed that didn’t happen.
Snickerdoodle
Mix 2 tablespoons firmly packed brown sugar (light or dark, whatever!) + 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon + 8 ounces softened (room temperature) cream cheese. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Harissa
Mix 2-3 teaspoons harissa + 8 ounces softened (room temperature) cream cheese. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Scallion
Mix 3/4 cup sliced scallions or green onions + 8 ounces softened (room temperature) cream cheese + 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder + 1/8 teaspoon salt. Refrigerate overnight before serving to let all the flavors meld.
Strawberry-Raspberry
Mix 1/2 cup fresh strawberries (hulled and cut into small pieces) + 1/2 cup fresh raspberries (cut into small pieces) + 8 ounces softened (room temperature) cream cheese. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Funfetti
Mix 2-3 tablespoons colorful sprinkles (not nonpareils; see note below) + 2 tablespoons powdered sugar + 8 ounces softened (room temperature) cream cheese. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Tip 1: The color of nonpareil sprinkles (tiny dots) tends to bleed, so use the longer, vermicelli-looking kind (jimmies!) as your mix-in.
Tip 2: Freeze sprinkles for 1 hour before mixing to avoid said color bleeding.
Select a platter and a few serving vessels.
Ideally, you can find enough matching serving vessels to house all of your cream cheese (like the cute glass jars I used here!) but if you have to mix and match, that’s cool, too. Remember, there’s really no right or wrong here. In fact, you could even throw the cream cheese in those plastic deli containers—that’d be just as cute.
Create labels.
Have you noticed that I’m all about labels in all of my projects? Cause I am. To me, it’s the labels here that really make this an interesting, decorative, celebratory platter instead of just…a platter. They just add a touch of whimsy and festiveness that would otherwise be lacking (and of course, they serve a pragmatic purpose, too).
I made these using this stamping kit and some large popsicle sticks, but another fun idea might be to try wooden / bamboo knives (that way the labels would serve two purposes). Really can’t recommend that kit enough, though. Just don’t lose letters like I did, or you’ll also have to end up using an upside-down exclamation point in place of the letter “i” (look closely and you’ll see it). 🙈
Add your cream cheese and garnishes just before serving.
Once you’re ready to serve, just add in your cream cheese, then garnish with some ingredient or spice or other “extra” that goes with the flavor of that cream cheese flavor. For the harissa here, I went with a stripe of harissa and red pepper flakes; for the funfetti flavor, I added an extra smattering of nonpareil sprinkles; for the strawberry flavor, I added three small strawberry “tops”; for the scallion flavor, I added a few extra scallion slices; for the snickerdoodle one, I went with a short cinnamon stick that I broke into two pieces. But it’s really up to you and your imagination.
Serve alongside several knives (if your labels aren’t, in fact, wooden knives to begin with).
And enjoy! That’s really it for the schmeargasbord journey, everyone. I hope this inspires you to do something similar for your break-fasts this year; if it does, let me know over on Instagram! Always happy to hear from you.
Shana tova (and—for next week—g’mar chatimah tova)!